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Mark Angelo Askew is the author of "Fimark's Family Reunion Planner Guide Workbook and Keepsake" and the founder and director of the Family Reunion Planning Group that established November as Annual Family Reunion Planning Month.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

On Your Special Day

There was a song we played at our family reunions a few years back. It was about the relationship between fathers and their daughters. 

"Fathers, be good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do. 
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers 
So mothers, be good to your daughters too."

The lyrics impress upon us that we as fathers teach our daughters how to love often without even knowing it. How do you know if you're getting through to them? Many heart to heart talks are needed.  Sharing experiences, lessons learned and being honest about the best course to take is essential. Consider the unspoken message our own thoughts and actions express regarding love, women, our wives and our daughters mother. Teach them the basic principle of "Honor".

Demonstrate Love Creatively

"Honor Your Mother and Father." These words should be the bases of the first lessons regarding relationships taught a child when growing up. Honor is given for specific reasons. Explaining those reasons based on the roles fulfilled in the household is essential.

But how to you go beyond token practices of honor? Consider getting your children involved in thinking up creative ways to show honor, love and appreciation in the household making it a way of thinking and loving. When children learn to demonstrate love and honor in creative ways they are happier more well adjusted people. Even when the act itself triggers little emotion, the fond memory of accumulated acts over time holds great weight.

Being Good To Our Sons

Brenda and I took our children on many vacations to beach resorts, theme parks and Disney World.  When I asked my sons what experiences they enjoyed most in childhood they both said is was the walks and talks we took to the library, while fishing or looking for specimens in a nearby stream. These little things meant the world to them. During these walks I shared my experiences, lessons learned and fascination for creation with them. This bond made them want to love, honor and comply with their fathers wishes.

Being Good To Our Daughters

In most cases, but not all, the best interpreter of how we feel about ourselves and others is the good our sons and daughters actually do as a result of our influence. The quality of their relationships and the love they give says it all. While their are a few exceptions, usually it all has a way of going full circle. The love we give is the love we receive. We do ourselves justice by being good to our daughters and sons.

On Your Special Day

Last year I composed a musical score, "On Your Special Day", for a family drama, It centered around a celebrated relationship between a father and his daughter. On the eve of his daughters wedding day a father sits at his piano reflecting on giving his daughter away. The score would carry us through the life of the child leading to the father daughter dance. This music video of real people and events in my life conceptualizes that. 

I had the pleasure of playing the musical score and similar video for a group of 60 last month. The tears and smiles told me it struck a cord in them as well.

"On Your Special Day" by Mark Askew

Like making family reunion keepsakes, family slideshows and scrapbooks? Get suggestions tips and tools from the previous article: April Reunion Planning Reminders.

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